Finals

I'm not one to complain…but I'm tired. My bones ache and my joints are stiff. I've had a slight headache the past two days. I'm sleep deprived. I've contemplated dropping out of college multiple times a day, every single day this week. 

For those who are not aware and others who may have not caught on yet; it's finals week. Yes, finals week. I've been so incredible busy this week. I've hit the books hard, and boy do they hit back. I've had a few near-mental-breakdown-moments and feel as though I've been neglecting my clients and my business by not responding to e-mails as quickly as I should and leaving un-edited sessions on my desktop. I've been dying to work on them, but have not found the time. 

It's funny though, because at the beginning of the week I told myself that I would dedicate all my time to school. Editing would have to wait. As the week crept on though, I felt a heaviness in my heart. I felt as though something was missing and could not quite put my finger on what it could be! Finally, at 12:30 in the morning, it hit me. I have not looked at or edited my pictures hardly at all this entire week. I closed my book, opened my laptop and indulged myself for a bit. I just opened the first session on my desktop and it was this one. 

I could not help but think, "boy have I missed this." 

As I edited and scrolled through the photos..I felt the heaviness in my heart relinquish. I felt a sense a peace, happiness, and relief. Because you see, photography isn't just something I do for fun. It's not something I do for money or to humor myself. It's not a "hobby." It's my passion. This week made me realize that I NEED photography. I simply can't live without it. I couldn't imagine going through life NOT having so many sweet faces on my desktop 24/7. Not being able to see the looks on clients faces when I show them the back of my camera during sessions, to witness love in action and capture that love for forever. 

These two siblings I photographed love each other a LOT. Isn't it obvious?! In the love they share, I can't help but see myself. Feel that same connection they feel. Because just as you view their loving embraces, their genuine smiles, and Lucy's adorable little foot she would pop up almost every time her big brother gave her a squeeze... know that is exactly how I feel whenever I have a camera in my hand. After all, there is a part of myself in every photograph I take.

 

Gosh, I love photography.